Denial. Shock. Grace. Everyone has a different name for it. “It” being the way one deals with difficult circumstances. At this point in my story I honestly believe I was experiencing me… how I would respond.
Funny thing about difficult circumstances: people think they know how they would respond, therefore they know how you should respond. Curious.
Resuming our story from Monday. I taught my classes and headed off to the doctor in the afternoon. Yes, mildly irritated that I had to go in for an appointment. I had things to do. Children to love. Husband to adore. Students to help. Naps to be taken. Anywho, at the doctor’s office the receptionists were incredibly sweet. They usually were. The nurse, who I knew by name, was very sweet. She usually was. My doctor, who I had a great relationship with, sat down beside me. That was new.
The Whomping Willow is out in force now, folks. She (yes, my WW is a she) is delivering blows right and left. It’s a little foggy for me. I’ll just share those moments frozen in time.
Doctor tells me my labs showed an issue. My counts are low. I asked if there was a vitamin shot or something we could do. Doctor takes my hand and says ALL of my counts are low. My white count, my red count and my platelets are all well below normal. They are all dangerously low. At this point I feel like a cartoon character who just sits there and blinks while sound effects point out the blinking. This is the first definitive hit of my WW… I was thrown into a new place so quickly I didn’t know what was happening.
Doctor tells me we need to draw more blood to find out if counts have changed since Thursday. He asks if I’ve done anything to cause possible bruising. Ummm… I played volleyball on Friday. He looks at my arms and just closes his eyes. Doctor then proceeds to tell me I have an appointment with a specialist on Wednesday and they both strongly advise I stay home and take it easy until then. Sorry, I teach block classes on Tuesday so I’ll be at work. Wednesday I can stay home.
I go to get my blood drawn in the lab at the doctor’s office. Everyone is being extra sweet. I appreciate it, but I am still lost. That WW hit sent me far away. Enter another guardian angel, Debbie. She was at the doctor’s office and heard me talking. She gave me a big hug. That hug helped bring me back. Debbie, I’m sure that day is burned into your memory as well. Thank you is inadequate to express all that seeing your face did for me in that moment… ❤️
As I left the doctor’s office I knew I needed to talk to my Rock immediately, but not at school. I looked at the business card of the specialist I was to see on Wednesday. It was an oncologist. So, I did what any grown adult would do. I drove to my first GA (guardian angel), Lisa, and called Dennis and asked him to meet me there. Lisa, you opened your heart and Home during my foggiest moments… you are a treasure!
Dennis came and we discussed what my doctor had said. We agreed to tell Victoria and Matthew what was going on so they were not in the dark. We went home. Told our children and called our parents. My mom and dad prepared to leave the next morning for the 7 hour drive so they could be with us at the Oncologist visit.
Tuesday. I prepared for a full day of classes and office work. My first class started around 10 am. My doctor called around 9 am. My counts were even lower, which was not good. He told me if I got a paper cut I could bleed out. WW hit: I knew – I KNEW this would be my last day in the classroom for quite awhile.
I enter Keyboarding and my students give me a wonderful gift of a button that says “World’s Best Teacher”. WW hit: my students were so sweet and thoughtful but all I could think was that if I put the button on and poked myself I could bleed out right there, and that wasn’t going to happen.
This Keyboarding class, I loved these students. It’s no surprise to anyone that among them were some of my favorites. 😊 This group stayed with me through thick and thin. Still do. You know who you are and I love you.
I thanked them for my gift and told them that today we were going to have a fun day. Lots of games to hone our skills. I started them on one game and then walked over to look out of the window. I looked back at my students. One student looked right back and I could tell he knew something was wrong. David, you have always been wise beyond your years!
I looked back outside. There was an unexpected guest here. One I didn’t know. One I was afraid to know. One I knew I had to face.
The Time that is Given 