Did you really think I would leave you hanging? I promise that we will talk about litter and loyalty, and then put them both together with deconstructed lemonade. Today is all about litter.
Litter bothers me. One of the things that puzzles me about where I live is the abundance of litter that is alongside every road. It’s everywhere. It’s one of the first things I noticed when moving here from Colorado and, quite frankly, it bothered me quite a bit. Every single day I see the litter – the round trip to work, to the doctor’s office, testing appointments at the hospital… Some days I feel sadness and other days I feel anger.
What is litter? Oxford defines littering, “[to] make (a place) untidy with rubbish or a large number of objects left lying about.” I see so many pieces of rubbish along the road and have never understood why anyone would think it’s ok to simply roll down the window of their car and throw something out, not even slowing down to see the destruction they are causing. Small objects, large objects, harmful objects, etc. that will land, stick, and start to decay and change the very soil. One of the oddest things is that the biggest piles of litter seem to be near the “fines for littering” signs.
So why do people litter?
Tomorrow is my cancerversary, the date that I first heard the words, “You have cancer.” March 30th, and the days before and after, bring such a whirlwind of emotions for me. This year it is a tad overwhelming. So many emotions… Having lived this past year, as we all have, in a pandemic, has intensified so many feeling and memories that I have suppressed for a long time. As I reflect back on how my oncologist told me about my cancer, I realized that words are like objects that can be thrown from a car window… they can be helpful or harmful, and they are rarely neutral.
So often words are just thrown out of a moving life without any thought of how/where they land and the effect they have. My oncologist and most of my nurses were able to speak the truth, in love, with the motivation being one of help and assistance. Those words were not rubbish, but a gift. Unfortunately, there were exceptions to that, and those words hurt and haunted me. It’s amazing that repeatedly hearing, “you can beat this” or “we’ve got your back” can be overshadowed by 1 or 2: “your quality of life will be poor so why bother” or “I hope your affairs are in order because you don’t want to burden your family WHEN you die.” Harmful, hurtful and toxic words carry a bigger weight… I’m not sure why that is…
We can never fully know what is going on in the lives of those around us. So, how do we know what to say? That’s the tricky part, finding the right words. I certainly haven’t mastered this yet. The truth is that we all continue to grow and evolve, to learn how to do better the next time. I am not that same 36 year old who was given 3 days to make memories with my family. Lots of life has been lived since then. Sometimes I got it right and sometimes I got it wrong. That’s the beauty of life, that we get to grow, change and become better humans.
My hope is that I become more sensitive to knowing when and how to say something to those in my life. I do not want to give a quick drive by of my own thoughts without stopping to think about how the words will land. My hope is that my love for those around me will always play a part in my word choices… that when my word choice or desire to be heard causes harm that I will ask for forgiveness and strive to do better. The rubbish we throw at each other causes so much more harm than we realize.
My Core Four, I love you and am thankful for you! This has not been an easy journey and I am beyond grateful for each of you and know that the price you’ve had to pay for being My Core will never be fully understood. I cannot imagine this life without you and am blessed beyond measure by having you in my life.
My Friends and Family, I love you and am thankful for each kind word and action! The meals, housecleaning, words of encouragement, gifts of time… they have not been forgotten.
No more word litter. No more rubbish. Let’s all work together to leave each other better after every encounter. Truth + love = flourishment 💖
The Time that is Given 