The Whomping Willow

Some days it feels like I’m Hermione and am trying to balance being beaten by the Whomping Willow while I’m trying to grab on and hold on to its branches because I need to go through them in order to proceed on my path.

Have you ever felt like that?

The past two weeks have been a wild, dizzy, uncertain, bruise-acquiring tussle with a Whomping Willow in my life.  Not long ago I would have hidden this part of my life. I would put on my “brave” or “happy” face (or the dreaded “I’m fine” face) and dealt with this in private. Opening the door to this part of my life isn’t easy.

Almost two weeks ago I passed out and fell while I was walking outside. I certainly felt like I had been thrown around by the Willow. I’m not sure who was more shaken, me or the nice young man who tried to help me. The main memory I have is seeing him run towards me and then seeing that I had fallen on some worms and they were embedded into my sweater… panic and laughter at the same time. Interesting experience. I wanted to say, “I’m fine but look at these poor worms,” but thought that would make me sound slightly crazy.

A trip to the doctor brought more concerns. My reflexes weren’t working correctly. The doctor said it’s either my heart or I’m having seizures, but go on home and they will let me know when we can run some tests. What?!?!!! So, I did what any mature adult would do, I went to Starbucks and called my husband. (You will meet my man, my leading man, my Rock, in a future post. I would be lost without him!)

Since my fall I have had constant dizzy spells, nausea, blah, blah, blah. I’ve met with a new doctor who has ordered several tests, which start tomorrow. Here comes another hit from the Willow: the sinking feeling of upcoming tests. I thought that would diminish with time. It has not.

Not fear. Not dread. It’s indescribable.

Life may sometimes feel like the Whomping Willow is going to be raging all of the time. Time has taught me that isn’t so. Tomorrow will be a day of testing. The rest of the week I will try and take you back to the beginning of my story. It has a great cast of characters, exciting plot twists, loads of humor, and some nuggets of wisdom. ‘Till then…